Stephen Arterburn is founder and chairman of New Life Ministries-the largest faith-based broadcast, counseling, and treatment ministry and is host of New Life Live! daily radio. He also authored helpful books and manuals such as Being Christian, Every Man’s Battle, and Midlife Manual for Men.
What Arterburn Reminds Us
The first thing Stephen reminds us in the beginning is that we must take responsibility for our portion of the hurt. This is one way to live regret free and another way to become mature. One can not honestly move forward until they figure out what stake they had in a relationship gone sour. This is cleansing and it will hurt to own up to those responsibilities. Arterburn even mentions his own unhealthy patterns of always running away when he “felt someone was doing something to him rather than with him”(30).
When You've Done All You Could
The next few sections discuss signs of an unhealthy relationship when it is time to break it off with a person. Arterburn is very candid when discussing this part because those who are married should always work hard to try and salvage the relationship. However when you have exhausted all your methods and find that the other person just doesn’t love you enough or vice versa, it is time to part. But you can continue to live regret free because at least you tried to save the relationship and have learned new lessons from it to take with you.
Living Past Regrets Takes Hard Work
With more than enough experiences, examples, and biblical reference to help us navigate our personal storms, Arterburn also makes a very real point that practically sums up how to stop living in the regret-zone and prevent ourselves from establishing unhealthy patterns: We are to be a conduit of God’s love(177). That’s it. That’s the sum of how to live happy and regret free. There are no easy way out strategies in this book. What remains abundantly clear, however, is that you will not have a perfect life simply because you are to be a conduit of God’s love -- this will take hard work, much bible reading, much prayer, and some sweat.
This would be a great book for couples, bible study groups, and individuals to read. The best way to get the most from this book is to read it slowly and take notes, then put it into action. Highly recommended.
Book Details:
Regret Free Living
Stephen Arterburn
Publisher: Bethany House(2009)
ISBN: 978-07642-0424-1
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